


The Stars in Your Eyes

by Greenfire4



Category: Joker (2019)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Rape/Non-con, Porn With Plot, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:27:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21868246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Greenfire4/pseuds/Greenfire4
Summary: Alexa is an eccentric young woman looking to make it in the ever present Asphalt Jungle that is the Gotham city Narrows. Arthur is a misunderstood man just looking for some kindness in the acidic society he feels he is alienated from. They meet...and things change. He loves her black lipstick...
Relationships: Arthur Fleck/Original Female Character(s), Arthur Fleck/You, Joker/Original Female Character(s), Joker/You
Comments: 14
Kudos: 73





	1. The Smell of the Greasepaint

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Dolls I'm new here and this is my first fanfiction. I love the representation of the Joaquin Phoenix version of the Joker and so I wanted to try my hand at some fanfiction for it!

The young woman sifted through the different records on the shelves of the music store. Her hands wrapped in soft fingerless gloves. They were black, just like everything else she was wearing. Head to toe, even her fingernails were adorned with black polish. She’d just grabbed a good stack of records, including “The Creatures,” and “Ghost Dance.” All on sale since the store was closing down. She made her purchases and headed outside.

She was just about to head back to her place when she noticed the clown. He was dancing and spinning his sign, reading “Everything must go.” It was enchanting really, he seemed so happy. She was so entranced by the piano player too, and the music; how the clown made it look almost natural. 

Until a group of thieving kids snatched it right out of the poor clown’s hands. He became distressed, racing after them, all the while shouting for someone, anyone to stop them. She chanced a look over right, then over left. The dreary Gotham narrows surrounded her like an asphalt jungle.

“Watch these.” She shoved the bag of records in the stunned piano player's hands. Then she took a deep breath, running after them. The congested streets made it difficult. Weaving around the people there. Why was nobody helping the poor thing? It made her angry and she kept running. She was gaining on the clown, but not quickly enough. She hit the alleyway just in time to watch the little shits clobber him, breaking it over him and then beginning to beat him mercilessly. Kicking him as hard as they could, she gasped, horrified, then incredibly angry.

“Hey! Stop it! What’s the matter with you all? Get lost!” They scattered and ran back into the deeper part of the alley. She turned to the clown, still lying helplessly on the ground. She held her hand out to him.

“Hey are you alright? I’m sorry I didn’t catch them.”

“I didn’t either,” the clown said meekly. He took her hand and pulled himself stiffly to his feet.

The clown looked into her clear blue gaze, she was a petite girl with slight height. Her hair was platinum blonde, tied with two black bows one on either side of her head to make two ponytails hanging over her breasts. She wore a concerned look on her face. She was wearing black lipstick too. His eyes lingered on them for a moment. Imagining what they might feel like on his skin. He realized he was still holding her hand. He let go, arms hanging limp at his sides.

“Thanks,” he mumbled. “I’m Arthur, Arthur Fleck.”

“Alexa, nice to meet you Arthur.” She smiled and it reached her eyes. “You should probably go get checked out for your injuries.”

“No, I’m fine, really thank-you.” He winced slightly as a particularly sharp pain twinged in his ribs. He’d never cared much for hospitals. He abruptly tore his mind from it.

Alexa was looking at him, “you sure Arthur? I mean my place is right around the corner, I could patch you up.”

Arthur weighed his options, he didn’t want to say no to her. She’d helped him. Nobody had ever helped him before, he didn’t understand why she was being so kind, nobody except maybe his mother had ever been so kind to him. It touched him, she had to be the sweetest girl in the world. He nodded his head, once, twice.

“I’ll go with you.”

“Great, just let me go grab my records I did buy them fair and square you know?” Alexa said with a smile, and it reached to her eyes again. Arthur wished he knew how to smile like that. He started after her trying to digest what was happening. He briefly wondered if he was dreaming or not.

Alexa picked up her purchases from the very, very confused piano player. “Come along Arthur.” She offered her hand to him. Arthur didn’t ever have anyone want to hold his hand, especially not a pretty girl like Alexa. He took her hand, surprised when she gave it a squeeze. After an incredibly short walk. Arthur waited for her to open the door to her flat. When she did he looked around.

“Welcome to my humble abode, can I get you anything? Water, tea, coffee?”

“No, thank-you.”

“Okay” She was filling up a basin with water by her sink. Arthur went back to looking around her flat, but it was her that really caught his eye. She was beautiful, he thought. Despite her seemingly eccentric nature. He still really liked that lipstick of hers.

Her décor consisted of heavy black drapery. Antique furniture, and Victorian dolls. He especially liked the clowns. They were all in glass cases too. He noted. She came out of the kitchen.

“Please sit,” she offered up a seat for Arthur to sit. He did albeit rather nervously. She set the basin of warm water on the coffee table nearby.

“Can I?” she asked. Raising a washcloth up full of warm water. Arthur’s Green eyes widened.

“Yes,” he muttered. His cheeks flushed. Then she did the sweetest thing Arthur ever could have imagined. She cupped his face in her hands, occasionally re-wetting the cloth and washing off his make-up. She removed his head piece after she’d cleaned the rest of his face. She did his forehead last, it took everything he had not to lean his head into her touch.

He almost wondered if she was real or not. He took her in again, blinking. She was still standing there. Arthur cracked a smile, he hoped it reached his eyes…


	2. You Don't Know Murray?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur can't seem to get Alexa out of his head, meanwhile Alexa can't keep him out of her head. They meet up again by chance, and Arthur gains enough courage to ask her to watch Murray with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there dolls! Time for another chapter! I hope you all enjoy it! I really do!

A few days later Arthur still had a spring in his step. He danced to a beat only he could hear. At the end of their visit Alexa had given him a bottle of Arnica Oil for his bruises, explaining how to apply just a little of it to them. She’d attached her number to the bottle of oil. She even gave him the extra first aid supplies in case he needed them again. He’d balked at first, not quite understanding why she’d been so sweet to him. 

“What are friends for?” She had said. Arthur had been floored, he’d never had a friend before. Not in his entire life, it felt nice. He took a long drag of his cigarette, watching the smoke billow up around him. He was headed off to go see his social worker. Looking forward to telling her about Alexa and how kind she’d been to him. 

Alexa sighed the Antique store she worked at was packed! All of Gotham’s finest upper class interested by the store’s newest prospects. Alexa, briefly wondered why some individuals could get whatever they wanted. They could pay big bucks and not even feel it! She’d always had to work for everything. Every piece of furniture in her flat she’d slaved away for it, her décor too. She pulled her mind from such thoughts, she needed to go through the porcelain dolls now. 

A big smile came over her face as she unboxed the loveliest clown doll she’d ever seen! It had a little plaid jacket, big shoes. Its make-up looked just like Arthur’s. Arthur…she hadn’t thought about anything for days. Just Arthur. The way his bright Green eyes seemed to smile when he smiled at her. He’d stayed awhile longer, she learned he was an aspiring comedian. She’d asked him to tell her a joke of course. Which he did, it was all dark humor and Alexa loved it. She laughed and laughed until tears sprung from her eyes. He departed a little while afterward with the first aid kit and Arnica oil she’d given him. She always had extra, especially since she lived alone. Perhaps it was overkill, she put the doll down with the others. 

She would check in on his price later using her discount. She’d worked at the little antique store for a while now. It wasn’t the most glamorous job, but it was surely more glamorous then her last job. It made ends meet. She’d always loved old things anyways. When she had finished the displays she headed to the back of the store to let her manager Mickey know she was finished. 

He came out of his office; he was a nice man, elderly but with a sharp eye. After he inspected her work he began to nod. 

“It’s looking sharp, nice job as usual Alexa.” She beamed. Pointing at one of the displays. Where the doll that looked like Arthur had been placed. 

“Oh Mickey” She asked “how much is that clown doll?” 

Arthur left his social worker’s office, she had asked him the usual questions: about his job, his thoughts, and his journal. Which he also kept as a joke diary since he had told her he was also an aspiring comedian. Then of course he told her about Alexa. He got that spring in his step again. He briefly wondered what she was doing. What she was thinking if she had thought of him too. He wanted to see her again, but he lacked the confidence. He wanted to call her, but the same issues plagued him. 

He lit a cigarette and took a drag. By the time he hit the pharmacy he was tired. He picked up his medications and headed to the direction of his run-down apartment building. He was just about to ascend the long flights of stairs, when he heard a familiar voice. 

“Arthur? Is that you? Hey!” Arthur turned around and she was there. Her platinum mane piled on the top of her head in a bun. She had her black lipstick on again. Coal black eyeshadow, all dark and mysterious. Head to toe in black. 

“Alexa? What are you doing here?” She smiled at him.  
“I work at the Antique store across the street. I saw you and I wanted to say hi.” In that moment Arthur knew he’d love her forever. He would keep her safe, he would be hers nobody ever looked for him! 

“Hi,” he said quietly. He swallowed hard and plucked up his courage

“Do you watch Murray Franklin?”

“Who’s Murray Franklin?” she looked at his face, waiting for an answer, he looked shocked.  
“You don’t know about the Murray Franklin show?” 

“Nope” Alexa shrugged. Arthur shook his head. 

“He’s a talk show host a famous one. My mother and I watch him all the time!” 

“Still doesn’t ring a bell, but I don’t have cable TV.” She shrugged.

‘Would you watch it with me?” Arthur blurted. Immediately wishing he was any good at being smooth. 

“Sure” She raised the bag she had been carrying up and close to her chest as they began ascending the stairs. Arthur, curious all the while, he wondered what it was. She noticed it, that he was looking at it. She silently gave him the bag. 

“I picked him up, he kind of looks like…” 

“Carnival” Arthur gasped “That’s my clown name!” he pulled the doll out of its wrapping paper.

“I thought of you when I saw him.” By now they had reached the rundown apartment building Arthur called home. He checked the mailbox empty as usual. Alexa took the doll and wrapped him back up She followed Arthur to an old rickety elevator once inside Alexa looked over at Arthur.

He was handsome, a sharp chin, angular face. His mop of brown hair curly, framing it. She longed to reach for him, but she’d only known him for such a short time. The elevator doors open, and Arthur longs for the same thing… 

He led her to the apartment he and his mother shared. Alexa came in behind him. “Mother I’m home.” He called; he kicked off his shoes and Alexa did the same. She followed him into the main room of the apartment. Alexa took the room around her in. A frail looking elderly woman sat in a chair in front of the television set. Alexa waited, wondering if the other woman even noticed her. Arthur broke the silence.  
“Mom this is my friend Alexa”

“Nice to meet you,” Alexa extended her hand. She lowered it when the other woman did not react. Instead it was like she looked right through her.  
“Happy did you check the mail?”  
“Yes mom, still nothing.” He answered. Alexa’s eyebrows shot up and she looked at Arthur. He saw the questions on her face, but shrugged.  
“Here let me take your coat.” She shrugged it off. Arthur hung it up, then came to the couch, sitting down. He indicated a spot for Alexa to sit. Lighting a cigarette and taking a long pull from it. Easing back a bit on the couch.  
Alexa sat down beside him, she decided to overlook Arthur’s mother’s behavior. She’s probably not used to strangers, that’s all. Alexa thought. She turned her attention to the TV, just then did the “Murray Franklin Show” begin to play… When the show was over Arthur’s mother whom was named Penny as Alexa found out after quietly asking Arthur, excused herself and went to bed. Arthur apologized profusely, but Alexa shrugged.  
“Its fine Arthur, people don’t like this,” she paused a moment to gesture at her black clothing and dark make-up. Arthur wasn’t sure why anyone could look down on her.  
“But you’re so kind, and a good friend.”  
“Thank-you Arthur, that, it means a lot to hear you say that.” She had that smile again, the one that reached her eyes. God, he wanted her, to belong to her. He wanted to tell her how much he loved her already. How perfect he thought she was. Then, to his surprise she stood up and hugged him. Shock shot through Arthur, her arms squeezed his midsection and her face was buried in his chest.  
Breathing in his scent of cologne and cigarette. Arthur wrapped her up in a gentle embrace. She was standing on her tiptoes. He held her closer. She didn’t let go for a second, and when she did let go he felt the ache of the lost contact immediately…


	3. Stalking Laughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He began to follow her, keeping several feet behind her and close to the sides of the buildings on the sidewalk. While he did so he imagined what it would be like if he could run his hands through her hair, loosing it from its ribbons and adorning his fingertips. A lustful twinge ran through him at the thought of it, but he pulled his mind from his fantasies.  
> She took a right turn and down the block, and he kept after her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Dolls time for another chapter I've realized this sort of reads like an AU slightly due to the fact that the events from the movie will still be in this fic but they will be happening as a result of different content to fit it into the story a little more seamlessly. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy it!!!!!

Arthur pulled the hood of his jacket more securely over his head. It was just a little after the dawn. He’d been waiting just outside of the apartment building Alexa lived in. He didn’t know if she was going to come out or not.  
Arthur was just about to try and come back tomorrow, but then she was there. She left the building through a different door then he was standing at. She had her hair in the ponytails he had come to appreciate so much. One on each side of her head tied with her usual black hair ribbons. He began to follow her, keeping several feet behind her and close to the sides of the buildings on the sidewalk. While he did so he imagined what it would be like if he could run his hands through her hair, loosing it from its ribbons and adorning his fingertips. A lustful twinge ran through him at the thought of it, but he pulled his mind from his fantasies. 

She took a right turn and down the block, and he kept after her. The sidewalks were full of people. Stepping around trash and debris, it was the beauty of Gotham city, streets full of trash due to the garbage strike. The narrows especially had always been like this, and full of people. Ones who took no bother in noticing him. Yet Alexa had, and he would be sure to keep it that way. He’d be sure to take care of her. Since she’d been so kind to him. Arthur turned down an alleyway just as Alexa ascended the stairs to her workplace at the antique store. He hung back a little more, lighting a cigarette and taking several puffs of it. 

She came out and descended the stairs headed in the direction of the bank. Arthur followed after her, stamping out one smoke and lighting another. He stopped short a few feet away blending back into those people who did not notice him. Alexa came out of there, lingering she looked around. Arthur hurriedly walked in a different direction. He surely did not want to get caught by her. When she stopped looking and went the other way Arthur hung back for a while. 

He was sort of surprised when she led him to the park. He watched her for what felt like hours. She just sat on the nearby bench, writing in some little pad she’d produced from her purse. By the time she was done at the park he’d smoked half a pack of his cigarettes.  
It was getting to be late afternoon, when she got up from the bench. He followed after her. Always being sure to stay out of sight, especially when she looked around again. 

Arthur! You Idiot! She catches you, you’re done she’ll think you’re a freak! He was expecting Alexa to walk back, but instead much to his startled demeanor she was getting on the bus! He would either have to get on it too or stop entirely or go home. He followed along behind a few other people getting on the bus as well, lingering slightly until he could select payment for the driver. Which he did, Alexa had found a spot near the back. So he picked a spot slightly in front of her, and behind a lady and her pouting son.  
Arthur lowered his hood and pressed his cheek to the window. He noticed the kid again, he wasn’t smiling. He seemed so upset, naturally Arthur wanted to make people happy, wanted to make them laugh. When it came to comedy, Arthur wore his whole heart on his sleeve. His hands came up over his face. Then he made a few funny faces, after a bit of antics, Arthur had the kid laughing. Had him smiling.  
Then the kid’s mother turned around. Instead of assessing the situation calmly she snapped at him instead.  
“Would you please stop bothering my kid?” Arthur tried to explain then  
“I wasn’t bothering…” But she just wasn’t having it. “Just stop!” She snapped at him again. And then something happened to Arthur that he always dreaded. An itch persisting, bursting in his throat to become a loud laugh, followed by several more.  
“What you think this is funny?” She questioned. Arthur felt pain shoot through his frame as he fell into a full-blown laughing fit. He could only shake his head. Trying to tell her no as he practically clawed at his own throat. He began fumbling to find one of his laminated cards. 

Forgive My Laughter I have a condition. He handed it to her. She read it and rolled her eyes. Arthur tried to smother his laughter, but it only seemed to get worse. Then something happened, a hand took the card from the other woman.

“Hey, back off of him. He can’t help it!” Alexa, come to save him again. His heart fluttered despite his painful laughter. Arthur felt eyes on them, but he didn’t care so much now with Alexa being there. She began rubbing his back first as she sat down beside him, talking softly to him, reassuringly. 

“Take deep breaths, one, two, and three. Breathe with me Arthur. It’s okay.” Arthur did what she said, attempting to catch his breath. Finding her voice soothing. The fit finally passed, and Arthur was relieved. She was still holding his card, 

“Here’s your card back, I’m not unfamiliar my cousin has the same condition actually.”  
“Really?” Arthur asked, surprised replacing his card in his pocket.  
“Yep,” she shrugged. She was still sitting beside him. “Well we meet again.” She gave him one of her breath taking smiles. Black lipstick and all.  
“Yes,” Arthur agreed “Thank-you”  
“What for?” She asked.  
“For being so kind to me, always. Even after what just happened, you’re sure you want me around. The laughter doesn’t bother you?"  
“Not in the least Arthur. I really don’t mind if the laughing happens it happens I’m not going to mind when we hangout and you feel a fit coming you can squeeze my hand. My cousin does that when he has one.” Alexa eyed him, wondering if he would find her to be weird or be offended.  
“I’m sorry if I…”  
“No I wouldn’t mind!” He said quickly, secretly he was thrilled that she had taken such interest. She was the first person he’d ever met who didn’t think ill of him for his condition  
“I’m just trying to be a good friend, truthfully before I met you Arthur I didn’t have any friends.” She looked down into her lap. “I’m so happy to know you Arthur.”  
Arthur smiled a real smile then, and it touched his eyes. Alexa looked up just in time to see it. Those beautiful Green eyes she could just get lost in them. She watched them smolder for a moment, was tempted to lean in. To kiss his lovely face all over with her lipstick on. To leave her mark on him. She could have sworn Arthur wanted the same damn thing. Disappointment wracked through her when she realized she was at her stop. Clearing her throat she said  
“Well, here’s me.” Arthur nodded glumly, he really didn’t want her to leave, and neither did she. “Tell you what Art if you haven’t got anything to do tomorrow evening would you like to come to my place for dinner?”  
“I’d like that.” He answered.  
“Great see you around 6 tomorrow evening then?” He shook his head yes and waved as she got off the bus. She turned and waved in return then disappeared as the bus doors closed. Arthur was grinning from ear to ear as he thought about it, about her. 

Once off the bus Alexa looked around her warily, she swore someone had been following her all day. That she saw flashes of movement, a person watching her, she just felt the eyes on her. It was why she had chosen to ride the bus home instead of walking. She hurried inside her building and took the stairs two at a time just in case. She had thought she was over that, but her paranoia was driving her insane at the moment and she didn’t ponder it as she shut her apartment door and did up the chain lock and the doorknob lock. She hung up her coat, kicked off her boots. Then made a V-line for her bathroom.  
Fumbling to open her bathroom mirror she grabbed her prescription medication and took two using the water from her tap to swallow them down. She looked at the clock over her kitchen stove it only read 8PM, she turned on her TV and threw in a VHS tape. It was going to be a long night…


	4. Family Recipe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So what do you want to eat? I’ll have to go to the store to get stuff for it.” Arthur was thrown off, what did he want to eat? Arthur rarely ate, he enjoyed a good cup of coffee and decent toast. He took so much medication he rarely even felt hungry.  
> “There has to be something you like?” Alexa gaped at him. Arthur shrugged helplessly, Alexa sighed, then she had an idea. “Well then I’ll make a dish my grandmother made my mother who then made it for me. My grandmother came over here from Ireland the recipe is a family heirloom as it were.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Dolls it's time for another chapter! I have a few plans hatching for the next few chapters, but for now I hope you all enjoy this one!

Waking to the sounds of her own screams, Alexa sat up abruptly. Forgetting where she was for a moment. Gasping for air she looked around her, her bedroom came into view.  
She lay back in relief “Just a dream…” It was more of a nightmare really. The same nightmare she’d had over and over ever since her misfortune about a year ago. She pulled her mind from it, looking over at her clock. It read 5AM, she didn’t have to go into work for another hour or two. She briefly entertained the idea of going back to sleep, but thought better of it. She pulled her covers off and left her room. Aiming to get ready for work. 

She picked out a plush black sweater with black pants, tossing them onto the seat of her toilet. She turned on the shower. She stepped into the spray trying to relax

“Get it together Alexa.” She told herself fiercely. She washed her hair and face, used her nicest smelling soap. She remembered the day before, Arthur was coming for dinner tonight. She didn’t want to seem like a wreck, let alone tell him her secret. When she finished showering she slipped into her clothes. Spraying herself with perfume she put her hair into their usual two ponies and one black ribbon for each of them. One on each side of her head, then applied her usual dark make-up. She made coffee for herself and poured herself a cup. Enjoying its heady flavor, she finished it up and then pulled her boots on, being sure to grab her black messenger bag and coat on her way out the door. 

She was beginning to put her stressful night from her mind, becoming more and more excited with the prospect of seeing Arthur later. When Alexa walked through the door to her work she noticed Mickey out near the front of the store taking inventory. She smiled as she headed for the back of the store. She locked her coat and purse up and then headed back out to the main floor. As soon as she did Mickey called to her, 

“Alexa could you do me a favor?”  
“What is it?” Alexa asked as she grabbed a large banner from Mickey. “You want me to hang this up in the window?”  
“Yes, and then I need you to invite our guest in I wanted to do something fun for the big sale on estate items today, have a little entertainment. He should be here soon.” 

“He?” Alexa raised her eyebrows. 

Arthur walked into HaHas with a spring in his step, he couldn’t wait to see Alexa. She had been on his mind non- stop. He felt her hands everywhere she’d touched him from the night before during his laughing fit. He unlocked his locker and pulled his clown shoes out. Getting ready to put them on, when Hoyt their manager appeared from his office.  
“Hey I need a party clown over at the antique store in the narrows,” The antique store? In the Narrows?  
“I’ll go Hoyt,” Arthur offered.  
“Knock yourself out.” Hoyt shrugged. Arthur immediately went to get his things ready and head out.  
Alexa was always surprised when the wealthy made their way into the little antique shop, the narrows was a rough place. Filled with rougher people, the dregs of society weighing them down. It created a tension almost palpable between the two classes. In Gotham it was you either had money to burn or longed to have that money. She sighed, while the wealthy kept their little store going it didn’t change how little she thought of them. Sighing she looked at one of the old antique clocks for the time. She wondered what Mickey meant when he said “he,” and entertainment.  
Finishing off the display she’d been working on she drifted towards the door, watching as a few more people came in to look around.  
“Can I help you find anything today?” She greeted them kindly,  
“Ugh what an odd girl you are!” exclaimed one of them.  
“It’s disgraceful they’ll let anyone work in retail nowadays!” Another said. Alexa clamped her mouth firmly shut. Swallowing down her anger at their rudeness.  
“Enjoy the store, if you have any questions my names Alexa.” She enunciated it for emphasis. She could hear their laughter as they walked away. 

“Don’t you have a funeral to go to?” One called over their shoulder. Alexa chose to ignore their jabs, she had heard them all before. They didn’t make her any less angry however, just then the door opened again and much to her shock a rather familiar clown walked in.  
“Arthur?” She asked, she immediately went over to where he was standing. Arthur looked up, she was more beautiful than ever, he thought. But he kept that to himself. “Hello  
Alexa. I’m supposed to help you sell things then?” He asked rather awkwardly.  
“Something like that.” She laughed softly, it was music to Arthur’s ears.  
“Let me just go tell my boss you’re here. I’ll be right back.” Alexa gave him a smile and headed to the back of the store.  
She knocked on Mickey’s office door, the elderly man opened it with a nod.  
“Yes?”  
“Our ‘entertainment’ is here,” she made quotation marks in the air with her fingers.  
“Splendid, just tell him to dazzle our guests will you? I’m very busy.” She nodded and left the office.  
Arthur was hovering in the perimeter, unsure of what to do next.  
“So what am I doing?” He asked her.  
“Dazzle the guests.” She shrugged. “Maybe dance around, point out the estate items.” 

“I’ll do my best,” he assured her. He couldn’t let Alexa down. Not after everything she’d done for him. He wanted to be Carnival at his best!  
And so the hours passed, and the wealthy patrons bought things Alexa couldn’t dream to be able to afford. Arthur was a hit, and he impressed everyone with his act. Including her, he kept an eye on her face. He knew she was smiling and that made all the difference. 

Later that evening the crowd dwindled and Mickey and Alexa closed the store down for the night. Arthur was waiting around by the door, his bag in hand. Alexa came to join him, 

“Phew I’m beat,” She stretched. “I don’t think we’ve been this busy in a while, I mean we usually are pretty busy but not THIS busy!”  
“You and your manager are the only ones who work here?” Arthur asked, quirking a painted brow.  
“Yep,” She nodded, zipping up her coat and shouldering her bag she stepped outside. Arthur followed after her.

“Why doesn’t Mickey hire another person?” Arthur asked curiously. 

“Oh Mickey? He is set in his ways. He is convinced only he can handle this work and I’m just decent enough that he pities me with a paycheck.” Arthur could hear the eye-roll in her voice. “No way will he train anyone new.” 

“I see,” Arthur merely shook his head and chuckled a bit. 

“So he’s a walking epitaph.” He said in a sing-song voice that sent her into a fit of giggles.  
“So what do you want to eat? I’ll have to go to the store to get stuff for it.” Arthur was thrown off, what did he want to eat? Arthur rarely ate, he enjoyed a good cup of coffee and decent toast. He took so much medication he rarely even felt hungry.  
“I don’t really know…” He fidgeted and looked down at his oversized clown shoes.  
“There has to be something you like?” Alexa gaped at him. Arthur shrugged helplessly, Alexa sighed then she had an idea. “Well then I’ll make a dish my grandmother made my mother who then made it for me. My grandmother came over here from Ireland the recipe is a family heirloom as it were.”  
“Wow that’s really cool Alexa, I look forward to trying it.” He said. They made it to the 24 hour store about a block from Alexa’s place. Arthur followed her inside, still in full clown gear. Between Alexa’s own daily get-up and Arthur looking like a clown they turned plenty of heads. Alexa noticed it right away, but Arthur didn’t seem to. She figured he ignored people very well or he really didn’t notice. Part of her hoped it was the first one. She grabbed a myriad of items including potatoes, carrots, and a few other things. She wanted to be in and out as quickly as possible.  
“You good? Anything you want Arthur?” Arthur shook his head  
“No, thank-you for asking though.” He answered.  
“Okay,” she said as she went into the check-out line. She paid for the items and they left the store. Alexa breathed out a sigh of secret relief. 

Once back at her apartment Alexa got to cooking. After getting directions to the bathroom from her, Arthur went inside and shut the door, washing his make-up off and changing his clothes. When he was finished he left the bathroom and was greeted by a delicious smell coming from the kitchen. He drifted his way in, Alexa looked up.  
“It’s almost ready,” she said  
“It smells good,” Arthur murmured.  
“It will taste even better,” she said as she stirred what appeared to be a thick stew. 

Arthur lit a cigarette and took a long drag from it as he settled into a seat at her antique table. He quietly watched her cook, taking in the way she occasionally stood on tip-toe to stir the pot with a large spoon. Eventually she stopped doing that, turning the burner off on her stove.  
“Done,” she said, she reached up above her and opened the cabinet. “Bowls are up here,” she stood on her tip-toes and managed to get two bowls down. Filling them both with the stew. She got out spoons and set a bowl each on the table. Arthur looked at it, raising the spoon he blew gently onto the spoons contents to cool it down and took a taste. To his delight it tasted wonderful, he repeated his actions finishing off the bowl.  
“Can I uh have some more please?” Arthur asked quietly.  
“Of course you can I made a whole pot,” She said. She watched Arthur get another bowl with a smile on his face. When they finished eating Alexa got up and set the two bowls and spoons in the sink. She turned on the tap but Arthur came to stand beside her.  
“Here let me, you cooked after all.” He said.  
“You don’t have to” she said.  
“I want to.” Arthur insisted.  
“Well, okay but I’ll dry.” After everything was dry and put away Alexa threw in a VHS tape she thought Arthur might like and sat down on her couch. He sat beside her and watched it as well. It gripped him, the main character was relatable to him and before long his mind drifted and he imagined himself and Alexa in the place of the two lovers. Little did he know, Alexa was imagining the same thing.


	5. Seeing Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You know what Alexa why don’t you stay with m..me?” Arthur’s voice faltered at the end. Nervous laughter began to skitter past his lips. Alexa reached out her hand, cupping his cheek. His eyes closed and unlike before he did not resist the urge to lean into her touch. Alexa considered that option as she used her other hand to hold his. The laughter dying down as quickly as it had started. Her flat seemed so far away all of a sudden. She looked up at him, faint fluttering of butterflies awoke in her stomach. 
> 
> She leaned back and closed the door to Arthur’s apartment. Then she kicked off her boots.  
> “Yeah, I’ll stay…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Dolls! I'm so sorry for taking so long to post, but college has been killer! I've got like a little bit of a break now so I'm posting this! I had it written out for awhile now though! I hope you all enjoy! This chapter is sad, but there is some cute fluff near the end!

“Arthur I’m so glad you decided to come with me. I love you so much!” Alexa kissed his lips, his face, and her fingers wrapping up in the curls of his hair. His arms wrapped around her tightly fawning in her touch he claimed her lips in return. He loved the feeling of her touches. Every light roving of her fingers over his back as her hands dropped lower, thumbs settling to over his spine. With a soft sigh Alexa pressed herself against him. His fingers splayed themselves over her shoulders. Dropping them downward to grab her sides to settle on her waist. 

It was electric, it was like completing a puzzle. Alexa’s hands were sliding underneath his shirt, touching his bare flesh. He shuddered, aching with arousal, Alexa practically purred in his ear.  
“I want you so much Arthur.” One of her hands drifted to cup the hard bulge tenting his pants. 

“I want you too Alexa,” he smashed his lips against hers, their tongues twining in a lover’s dance. She was reaching into his pants, fingers finding their mark when… 

“Happy!” Arthur practically jumped off the couch, he yanked his hand back out of his pajama pants, erection evident within them. 

“Fuck!” he’d been so close! He grabbed one of the pillows on the couch he was sitting on, covering his lap with it. “What is it mom?” He said as she entered the room, Arthur hoped she hadn’t seen him like that.

“I wrote another letter, what’s that?” She looked at the television set distracted by it as the last scene of the Man Who Laughs played. The scene he’d been…touching himself to. 

“Just an old movie Alexa leant me,”  
“That’s creepy Happy did you see his face? What a ghastly smile.” She ogled the TV screen.

“Of course I saw it, it’s a love-story, the main character.” His mother cut him off.  
“She’s a strange girl Arthur that Alexa.”  
“How would you know mom you haven’t even talked to her.” Arthur sighed, taking the letter addressed to one Thomas Wayne who happened to be the same person all her letters were to. He rose from the couch trying his damndness not to look conspicuous, he set the letter aside. His mother said something else, but he tuned her out. If she didn’t like Alexa that was her problem. He had no intentions of leaving her alone. Of losing her, not after how wonderful she’d been to him. He took a shower finishing what he started on the couch, Alexa’s name falling from his lips. He got out and dried off, getting dressed. His mother had returned to her room. He grabbed the VHS tape Alexa had lent him, being sure the film inside was re-wound, and the letter he needed to mail. He had the day off so he decided to pay Alexa a visit at the antique shop. He hoped she was there… 

Alexa heaved out a tired sigh, “nearly done” she told herself. She placed the antique tea set behind the glass cabinet doors Mickey kept off to the right side of the store. It was a slow day, only a few customers had come to visit the shop so far. She looked longingly at the clock. Finally! It was time to close up! Alexa headed to the back of the store, locking up the register, and putting the newly arrived antique items in their storage area.  
She was just locking the door to the storage when a loud crashing noise made her freeze for a moment it sounded like the shattering of glass. Mickey came out to investigate, their security alarms began going off. The ringing permeating the air. She heard yelling, the click of a gun being drawn three men wearing masks had broken into the store.  
Alexa felt fear coil up into knots in her belly.  
“Spread out take everything you can carry” The masked man with the gun approached. Alexa swallowed hard.  
“Stay back Alexa,” Mickey stepped in front of her. The only thing between them and the masked man was the glass counter in which the register sat upon. He cocked his gun and leveled it back at them both.  
“Register. Open it”  
“Not on your life Mickey said gruffly. Alexa had the keys still, she wondered if she could get a little bit closer she could use them as a weapon. In the meantime the other masked men were looting the store. Breaking glass, knocking the cabinets they had emptied out over. Alexa felt like yelling, screaming, but her mouth stayed shut and her brain went blank. She felt so afraid, so very afraid. The masked man shoved the gun hard into Mickey’s forehead.  
“Don’t push me grandpa I’ll shoot!” Mickey gulped, his brave front faltering. Alexa couldn’t believe it, she hoped she was dreaming, that three armed robbers weren’t trying to take everything she ever cared about, that Mickey wasn’t in danger.

“The keys Alexa” Mickey murmured. She handed Mickey the keys. He fumbled with them, looking for the right key. The man pushed the gun harder into Mickey’s forehead  
“Make it snappy old man!” Alexa glared at the robber. A fierce rage rising within her.  
“He’s doing the best he can!” She snapped  
“Ahh a feisty one, how about you open it? Give her the keys grandpa,” the masked man’s gun turned towards Alexa, her hands shook as she opened the register. She didn’t notice Mickey grabbing his office key from his pocket. It all happened so fast Alexa hardly registered it as Mickey lunged across the counter, brandishing the key. At the same time the masked man fired his gun and Mickey fell backward onto the floor, blood spattered across her face from the shot. Her ears rung and she screamed loudly. Collapsing to her knees on the floor as Mickey’s blood soaked its tiles. 

“Mickey?” She tried, shaking him. She progressively became more and more hysterical, full on sobbing as she cradled Mickey’s body.  
“Please wake-up!” she cried, but no matter what she did he wouldn’t answer her. Alexa knew it deep down, that her friend was dead. Bleeding out in her arms. The robbers cleared out the register, took all they could among the antiques and headed out the door. Alexa didn’t care, Gotham was a dark place, and the narrows had never been an exception. She continued to cry, she cried because in that moment she felt like no one cared, she cried over losing Mickey, about all the hurt she had hidden within her. She thought she heard sirens in the distance, the indoor alarms still wailed. Alexa remained frozen where she was. It was like a nightmare and she was never going to wake up from it. 

Arthur walked up the short flight of stairs to the front of the antique shop just in time to nearly be knocked down by the three masked men as they fled out the front door.  
“Hey look out idiot!” One of them spat and Arthur winced slightly as he felt the guy’s elbow hit him in the ribs. A sense of dread filled him fast turning into fear as he burst through the door. What he saw turned to terror when he saw the demolished store. A few laughs bubbled up in his throat when he heard crying. It sounded like…

“Alexa, what happened?” He scrambled to her side, surprised when he stepped into red liquid. Horror overtook him. She looked up at him, her dark make-up smeared her cheeks falling in rivulets with her tears

“He’s gone Arthur… t the three g..guys broke in and s…shot him!” Upon looking Arthur knew what he had stepped in. Blood, he took in Mickey. He was pale and blood oozed from a gunshot wound. He wasn’t moving and Arthur knew that…he covered his mouth in shame as laughter began to fall from his lips. He tried to suppress it to no avail as the fit progressed, small giggles turning into full-blown laughter. 

“I’m haha so..s..sorry ha Alexa!” he knelt beside her, reaching out his hand in hopes she’d remember to hold it like they talked about. She placed her small hand in his, he wondered if the police would show up, if at all. He held her hand a little tighter as his laughter wracked his thin frame. Approaching sirens rang in the background. “Police, anyone here?”  
Arthur’s fit died down and he gasped “Over here!” he put his hand on her shoulder. Alexa finally stood as the GCPD came in. Arthur’s hand stayed where it was on her shoulder. He looked at her, her black clothes were soaked in dark red blood, even the ends of her pig tails were soaked in blood, turning them red. Her sobs had subsided to soft sniffles. Arthur’s arm went around Alexa’s shoulders protectively. She let him, she even leaned against him, like she would fall if he didn’t hold her up. 

“Miss what happened here?” one of the officers, Detective Burke asked.  
“Three guys came in here and robbed us…” Alexa was talking, but she felt far away. Like she was trapped and somebody else was speaking for her. Talking about Mickey, about the robbers, what they’d stolen. If she could remember anything else about the men. Emergency medical services showed up. A coroner zipped up the body bag with Mickey inside. Alexa broke down into another sobbing fit. Turning into Arthur’s embrace completely. Dampening his cardigan with her tears. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. He eventually was able to guide her out of the broken store. Keeping his arm around her. Alexa felt exhausted as she allowed the paramedics to asses her. Everything she cared about had been destroyed by those three robbers! 

It would take time, time to sort out Mickey’s affairs. She knew he lived alone, he never mentioned any family. Her head ached and she wanted nothing more than to go home and shower. The paramedic told her she was alright physically. The GCPD remained there, taping the store off. Alexa felt so vulnerable as she walked beside Arthur back across the street. The silence stretched on as they walked. 

“I’m sorry,” Arthur whispered  
“Why?” she asked “You didn’t just ruin my life.”  
“My laughter that wasn’t funny I…”  
“Ssshh” she said and reached for his hand, which he gave to her without hesitation,  
“It’s just a condition you can’t control that Arthur.”  
“Arthur?” Alexa asked  
“Yeah?” he answered  
“Can you…” she let out a sniffle followed by a shudder, tears blurred her vision. Arthur tugged her into his arms and held her close. She buried her face into his warmth. Her fingers curling into the material of his cardigan.  
“What is it?” He asked gently “what can I do?”  
“I don’t want to be alone…Arthur…can you stay with me tonight?” She whispered softly. Arthur gaped, swallowing down a few giggles.  
“Sure, if you want me to.”  
“I do” she nodded her head, keeping her face buried in his sweater. Her arms latched around him and held on tight. 

They’d reached the top of the massive flights of stairs.  
“Is it okay if I get a few things to take with me?” Alexa merely nodded, following him inside the apartment block, Arthur checked his mail box, empty as usual. Alexa hoped nobody saw her, least of all his mother. 

“Wait right here” Arthur said as he unlocked the door to his apartment. She hung back by the doorway intending to be out of sight. The amount of dried blood on her clothes, her hair, and her face was less than desirable to look at. She willed Arthur to be quick, and that his mother was asleep. Arthur returned with a bag with clothing, his toothbrush, and a brush for his hair. 

“Hey is it alright if I wash my face?” Alexa finally asked. Consequences be damned she wanted to get rid of it! All that blood, Mickey’s blood. Her dearest friend was gone…and she still couldn’t believe it! 

“You know what Alexa why don’t you stay with m..me?” Arthur’s voice faltered at the end. Nervous laughter began to skitter past his lips. Alexa reached out her hand, cupping his cheek. His eyes closed and unlike before he did not resist the urge to lean into her touch. Alexa considered that option as she used her other hand to hold his. The laughter dying down as quickly as it had started. Her flat seemed so far away all of a sudden. She looked up at him, faint fluttering of butterflies awoke in her stomach. 

She leaned back and closed the door to Arthur’s apartment. Then she kicked off her boots.  
“Yeah, I’ll stay…”


	6. Hushed Affection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s just haha you haha are so b….beautiful!” Alexa gasped, and Arthur wondered if he’d said too much. Tears streamed down his face from his painful laughter. Alexa was stunned, for weeks she’d found Arthur to be beyond handsome, his green eyes like emeralds, his sweet personality charming. Alexa reached for him again and Arthur complied, his laughter dying down to the occasional giggle. She squeezed his hands gently in her own.
> 
> “I think you’re beautiful too Arthur,” she said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dolls! I'm back here with another chapter! I do hope all of you are feeling well and staying safe! College is still kicking my butt, but I will be getting a break soon! I also decided to drop a sort of "Easter egg" in this chapter if you will. Please comment if you figure it out! It's been a slow-burn! However, this chapter is the beginning of a very lovely relationship! Please enjoy!

Arthur was overjoyed that Alexa had decided to stay. He took her coat from her and hung it up beside his own. He took his own shoes off. Alexa shifted from foot to foot, hoping that Arthur’s mother wouldn’t mind her being there. While she didn’t want to be alone, she didn’t want to be in an awkward situation either. But the blood was more irritating to her right now.  
“Where’s the bathroom?” She asked Arthur, but he merely looked at her and gestured to the couch she’d sat on the night they’d watched the Murray Franklin show. Alexa didn’t know why he wanted her to do it, but she sat down. She didn’t even realize how exhausted she was.  
Arthur watched her sit down and turned to the kitchen sink. He suddenly decided that he would do something for her that she’d done for him that day he got jumped by those kids who took his sign. He filled a basin with warm water and got out a soft hand towel. He brought them to sit on a table across from where Alexa sat. He lowered himself to his knees and looked up at her.  
“Can I?” he held up the cloth. It looked so familiar to Alexa and in spite of herself, her cheeks flushed red in the low light of Arthur’s living room. Remembering the memory of how she met Arthur fondly. Despite all of the bad that day. The inevitable panic attacks to come or the nightmares she smiled at him. It didn’t reach her eyes, but it was better than nothing. Arthur ever so gently began to wash her face using the wash cloth. He started with the blood first, and then with some difficulty, he scrubbed away all of her make-up. Alexa kept her eyes closed, enjoying the sensation of Arthur’s hands on her face. Even if it was merely with a washcloth. It was so kind of him!  
Arthur elicited a gasp, in awe of her. She was so beautiful without make-up! She had always looked so beautiful, but he hadn’t been certain of such a thing until now. That she was even more beautiful than ever. Alexa blinked open her eyes, wondering why he’d stopped.  
“What is it, Arthur? Are you alright?” She asked. Her cheeks flushing under his gaze. “Is everything okay?”  
Arthur nodded quickly throat tightening as the traitorous laughter prepared to fall from his lips. He cursed inwardly as his painful laughter began. Alexa looked mortified, reaching out to him. He merely shook his head.  
“It’s just haha you haha are so b….beautiful!” Alexa gasped, and Arthur wondered if he’d said too much. Tears streamed down his face from his painful laughter. Alexa was stunned, for weeks she’d found Arthur to be beyond handsome, his green eyes like emeralds, his sweet personality charming. Alexa reached for him again and Arthur complied, his laughter dying down to the occasional giggle. She squeezed his hands gently in her own.

“I think you’re beautiful too Arthur,” she said. 

Arthur couldn’t believe his ears, had Alexa really just said that? About…him? Of all people? Was this real? Was she real?? Arthur never had an understanding of how or why he had been so fortunate! But he was because Alexa was here and she had told him she thought he was beautiful! Alexa’s fingers reached his curled tresses and he closed his eyes. He all but leaned into her touch. Her other hand had tilted his head up by his chin. She lowered her face and kissed him right on the lips. Arthur gasped, pressing his lips to hers in return. He joined her on the couch, never breaking their kiss. Alexa felt his arms go around her waist, she scooted over and into his lap. She moaned, desire to deepen the kiss permeating her very being. Her tongue ran over his lower lip, after a moment he parted them his tongue twining with her own, her hands still wrapped tightly in the curls of his hair.  
Alexa ground her hips downward, feeling his arousal as she did so. Arthur let out a low groan, it was his first kiss, but he hoped Alexa couldn’t tell that he had a lack of experience with these things. He’d wanted to kiss her ever since he’d first met her, at last, they broke apart gasping for air. They looked into each other’s eyes a few long moments the heady sensation of want boiling in their blood. Alexa kept looking into his eyes as if they held the answers to every problem in the world.  
Arthur seemed to find that same promise in Alexa’s eyes. He knew right then and there that the young woman in his lap was special to him. He’d do anything for her. He reached for her, his hands cupping her cheeks. Her face was flushed, blue eyes dropping just a second before she looked up at his green orbs as they closed the distance between them for another passionate kiss. Her tongue ran lightly over his lower lip again, Arthur sucked in a breath, his lips parting eagerly to allow Alexa entrance. Her tongue found his yet again. They brought their tongues to be twined once more, kissing like it was their last night alive.  
Alexa’s hands were all over Arthur, and he basked in it. Her hands settled in his hair again and she ran her fingers through it while they kissed just like he’d always imagined. Eventually, she drew away breathless, Arthur was gasping for air as well. Neither of them had wanted to stop but they had to breathe. Alexa felt so aroused, she considered asking Arthur to take her, to change the encroaching pain and panic she felt into passion and the high it would bring. To claim her and make love to her right then, but a nagging voice at the back of her mind reminded her firmly that it was too soon, she shouldn’t rush things.  
Arthur was looking at her shyly, his cheeks flushed “That was amazing Alexa,” he whispered hoarsely voice rough with desire.  
It was Alexa’s turn to blush “you think so?” She asked.  
“Yeah,” Arthur murmured. She wrapped her arms around him and tucked her nose into his shoulder. He smelled of mint and cigarettes, Arthur then wrapped his arms around her tightly. They stayed like that for what felt like forever, but in reality, it had only been a few minutes.  
“I should get cleaned up,” Alexa whispered, removing herself from his lap.  
“Okay,” Arthur sighed, he didn’t want to let her go. He stood up shifting to readjust himself in an effort to calm down, he was painfully hard. He showed her where the bathroom was and she was going into the bathroom just as she realized she had nothing to wear after she got cleaned up. She fidgeted a bit.  
“Uhmmm Arthur?” she swallowed hard “I don’t have a change of clothes.”  
“Oh….yeah” Arthur shook his head to clear his thoughts. Which all consisted of Alexa staying nude the entire night in his arms. Maybe emotions would build and his sweet Alexa would let him make love to her like in the movies where the hero got the beautiful girl at the end.  
“I’ll find something for you” he eventually said, yanking his mind from his fantasies. Alexa nodded and closed the door, once inside she turned on the shower. She stripped out of the bloody clothes she was wearing then she set her hair free of its pigtails and stepped into the spray, washing away the blood from her hair and skin. The hot water felt wonderful, but all the while she thought of Arthur and the moments they had just shared. She hoped with all her heart that it meant they could be more than just friends, especially after they’d kissed.  
Arthur felt like he could dance! Alexa had kissed him! Willingly! He ached in his nether-regions, but he forced himself to ignore it in favor of finding her something appropriate to wear. He settled for his soft red sweater with the red hood. He threw it over his shoulder and headed to the bathroom. The door was closed and he could still hear the water running so he waited for her to finish the ache in his groin was practically unbearable at this point, he was just about to relieve the pressure when he noticed the dark red stains of blood on his slacks, more blood on his cardigan. Blood that wasn’t his, but Mickey’s blood. He must have gotten it on himself when he found Alexa.  
He hurriedly undressed and redressed into clean clothes for sleep. All thoughts of jerking off to the thought of her in the shower and the moments they’d shared completely forgotten. Instead, his nervous laughter began to fill the room. He tried his best to stifle it to no avail.  
Alexa turned the shower off and grabbed a towel off of the nearby rack and wrapped herself up in it. To her dismay, her dirty clothes were there, but no clean garments in sight from Arthur. Then she heard it, his painful laughter. She didn’t even think as she saw him on the couch, clutching a red sweater with a hood in his hands.  
“I’m s haha sorry Alexa,” he tried to offer her the garment hands shaking. Alexa managed to grab it from him, all her thoughts pinpointing to become how bad she felt for him. What was upsetting him so?  
“I’ll be right back,” she hurried into the bathroom, she pulled the red sweater over her head and put on her black panties. Opting to skip the bra she came back to where he was sitting. Alexa grabbed his hands to hold, her concern evident on her face as she sat beside him and rubbed his back gently. Eventually, his laughter subsided and he looked at her with a hazy expression, he let go of her hands, then looked at his pile of bloody clothes. Alexa followed his gaze and saw them, swallowing hard. Arthur felt wretched he should be stronger for his lovely Alexa, and she indeed was lovely. This time he felt a surge of confidence come over him as he pulled her against him. Holding her close as tears wet the collar of his pajama shirt. He ran his slender fingers through her long platinum mane, detangling it. Closing his eyes in delight as he smelled his strawberry shampoo in her hair. Arthur held her the whole time she cried, until at last, she seemed to be relaxing now, even more so when he played with her hair.  
Her tears subsided and he got up to get her some tissue when he returned Alexa was wrapped up in his blankets on the couch. She took the tissue, blowing her nose. When she was done he took them from her and tossed them into his ash tray.  
“Hey I need some too,” Arthur teased, gesturing to the blankets. Alexa smiled at him, lifting the blankets up. Arthur flopped down beside her, he felt nervous at first, but Alexa didn’t seem bothered by their close proximity. In fact, she wiggled backward to pin him against the couches back, Arthur felt his heart pound in his chest. Alexa turned to Arthur taking him in. He swallowed and fidgeted a bit. Alexa scooted closer to him.  
“Will you hold me?” She asked in a small voice. Arthur nearly lost it, he bit the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood which hurt signaling to him that she was real. That Alexa did indeed want him to hold her. Him of all people, he wrapped his arms around her waist. He pulled her close to him, her back against his chest. He kissed her head gently, whispering softly to her as she began to drift off to sleep.  
“Sweet dreams.”


	7. Victim in the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’s telling her she likes it because she’s dressed like a kinky bitch. She sobs and he slaps her again, because she is still struggling. People know it’s happening, but they don’t do anything to help. He drags her into the alley way. The other two are cheering him on. He unzips his pants and Alexa knows what’s next. Her face throbs and the back of her head hits the alley wall. The streetlamp goes out and no longer emits any light as he rips her pants down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dolls it's been a while I'm sorry for the wait! Writer's block kills. Also this chapter has several triggers in it including rape and self-harm as well as night terrors! If that is uncomfortable for you readers beware! You have been warned!

_She was walking home from work that night, footsteps echoed behind her on the grimy Gotham streets. She looked over her shoulder, nothing. The street lamp above her head begins to flicker, struggling to continue emitting light. Alexa heard it again, trying to hurry now she shook slightly. So busy she was looking behind her she didn’t see the other two men step out from an alleyway in front of her. They smell strongly of sex and alcohol. They move in on her, reaching out to grab at her, they don’t talk to her at first. The two men back away suddenly and start saying something to someone with slurred words. Its fight or flight, she attempts to get around them. They are well-dressed, in suits. They each have a sneer on their faces and rush forward again. She tries to turn away and escape but she runs into someone. He’s grabbing her and talking in her face. His breath is awful and smells like booze. She shoves him hard and tells him to fuck off, not to touch her. He slaps her across the face and she staggers backward from the force. She’s trying to defend herself, to escape, but the man just hits her over and over. He’s telling her she likes it because she’s dressed like a kinky bitch. She sobs and he slaps her again, because she is still struggling. People know it’s happening, but they don’t do anything to help. He drags her into the alley way. The other two are cheering him on. He unzips his pants and Alexa knows what’s next. Her face throbs and the back of her head hits the alley wall. The streetlamp goes out and no longer emits any light as he rips her pants down. She begs and cries but he hits her in the face and jams his prick in her. Slamming his hand over her mouth as she sobs. His body pins her there, violating her very being He’s talking again and she thinks she hears a familiar voice, yes, no? Alexa saw him even closer now, smells his breath, feels his weight on her._

Alexa woke to the sound of her own screams, tears streaming down her beautiful face. A hand covered her mouth fiercely, and she felt weight on her. Her eyes stretched wide, wild and afraid, full of tears as she locked eyes with Arthur. Pressing his hand to her mouth, she felt she would suffocate. Fear overtook her and she kneed him right in the groin, shoving him off of her. He hit the floor with a thud. He was winded and she gasped in shock as she all but began to sob, pulling her knees up to her chest. She tugged the blanket up, her hair falling into her face. Arthur did his best to catch his breath, when Alexa had become so distraught he didn’t know what else to do. Apparently his Alexa was hurting, however revealing her to his mother was less than ideal considering her blatant dislike of Alexa.

“I’m sorry Alexa I didn’t mean to make you afraid,” he murmured in between ragged breaths. “It’s just my mother…I didn’t want…her to wake up.” He dragged himself back onto the couch. “Hey,” he whispered “Alexa it’s me, please don’t cry I’m here for you.” Alexa didn’t look at him, merely burying her face into her hands and continued to cry softly. Arthur looked out the window to his apartment it was still a few hours before sunrise. Miraculously his mother remained in her room asleep. She must have finally given those new sleeping pills a chance. He scooted closer to Alexa on the couch, has hand coming to rest upon her knee. Alexa looked up at Arthur at last, her eyes were still filled with tears. It broke Arthur’s heart to see her like that. His Alexa deserved the best, she deserved all of the kindness in the world, she should be smiling, should be happy. If nobody else was going to do it then he was, he decided as he began to circle his thumb over the knee his hand rested upon. She kept her teary gaze fixed upon Arthur, all of the pain she was concealing reflected there to be seen. He grabbed her hands and kissed their backs.

Alexa looked stunned for a moment before she took her hands back. She felt vulnerable and she didn’t like it, her traitor tears continuing to fall. She looked away, the scars she had were not just emotional they were also physical. Arthur’s sweater just barely covered the scars upon her hips. Just beneath the sleeves of his sweater two rows of thick scars had settled on her wrists, climbed up her arms. Wounds that were healed now, but were forever a sign of her hidden grief. Her sorrow after that rich asshole forced his prick inside of her ramming it in and out of her over and over while his buddies watched.

“Oh Arthur it’s not fair!” she sobbed softly as she threw her arms around him, pressing her forehead into his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her in return, holding her close to him. “They hurt me!” she said hoarsely. “Who? The robbers?” Arthur asked softly. She shook her head, “No.” Arthur was confused, if not the robbers then who? What did she mean? Arthur wasn’t truly certain what she meant. He’d thought it was the robbery she had been so distraught over this entire time. That it was why she’d had such a bad dream. “Who hurt you Alexa?” Arthur tried.

“These rich guys,”her voice sounded far away. “They followed me while I was walking home from work.” “And then what?” Arthur asked her. “They stopped me, and then…” she shuddered and began to cry softly again. “They were drunk, and two of them got in front of me so I couldn’t get around them. So I…I…” It was getting harder and harder for Alexa to keep any kind of composure. “They were so awful Arthur…and drunk. I was going to turn around…” her voice was getting frantic, hysterical. She buried her face more into his shoulder in a desperate attempt to keep quiet. “Then what?” Arthur asked with baited breath. His Alexa was suffering and he would find out why, and whoever it was that hurt her would pay dearly for it. “There was another guy…he…he b..beat me up. Said I liked it…slammed me into the wall…my head…I hit my head then..then…he made me…” she sniffled, struggling for breath. “He forced himself on me!” She finished as she fell into a fit of tears. “He made you have sex with him?” Arthur concluded as she nodded rapidly. “Yes…” she admitted. “And I didn’t want to…”


	8. Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re the only one who’s ever really accepted me,” he said as their eyes met. Alexa smiled happily, “same to you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Dolls! I apologize profusely for taking so long to post! Between college and writer's block, I have been quite tied up! However, this chapter I enjoyed writing, and I hope you all enjoy reading it! I will try my very best not to take such a long time in posting again! Enjoy!

Arthur reached into his pocket fingers brushing against the cool exterior of the revolver within it. A heady sense of confidence ran through him as he stood in the alley. The one where his precious Alexa had been pushed into and forced to have intercourse against her will. Tonight, was the night, after weeks of stakeouts in some of the slummiest places in Gotham, just to get a chance to know what club they were going to slither out of tonight. His Alexa had described all of this information in detail.

They were coming now! The three rich guys who’d hurt her, he wanted nothing more than to make the three of them eat steel! He cocked the gun, closer, closer! His thumb hit the hammer on his revolver and that was just the beginning. He lowered the gun to set by his hip stepping out, they were Infront of him.

“Hey,” he called out “over here,” Arthur took the three guys in, stepping back a bit to recede into the alleyway. Arthur took the three guys in, a deep feeling of pure rage roiling within him. They had hurt his Alexa and they would pay!

“What do you want weirdo?” one of them said within a few moments they surrounded him. He fought the sudden urge to laugh, instead, he raised the gun, held it right up to point at the man who Alexa said had hurt her the most. He felt powerful as they cowered before him.

“Listen,” the man at the end of the barrel said, “If it’s money you want…” He went to reach into his pocket. Arthur jammed the gun into his chest.

“You hurt her,” he snarled. “You hurt my Alexa!”

“Who?” they asked, Arthur felt pure unadulterated hatred. “The woman you raped!” He pulled the trigger, satisfied as he felt the hot spatter of blood across his face. He quickly shot the other two before they could escape and watched them fall to the grimy pavement. Arthur put the gun away and smiled. It climbed upward and into his vibrant green eyes. He lost himself there in that big smile, his Alexa had been avenged. He could hear her now, her happy tears her appreciative voice thanking him.

“Arthur, hey hey hey?” Arthur gasped. He was still sitting on the couch in the dark with her in his lap, sobbing still in his arms, his fantasy interrupted. Alexa shivered uncontrollably; her breath hitched as she grasped at the back of his pajama shirt. He rubbed her back with both hands.

“I’m right here for you.” He told her softly. She was having a panic attack and she needed comfort.

Alexa continued to cry and shiver. “Arthur…Arthur I’m afraid,” she told him. She said it over and over. Each time pushing her further into her panic. Arthur shifted and put her off of his lap and grabbed for the blankets. Alexa allowed it despite her convulsive shivering. She snatched the blankets and wrapped up in them. She vaguely wished she could disappear, or even die. Anything would be better than this awful panic especially in front of Arthur. She still mumbled to Arthur she was afraid.

Arthur reached out “can I hold you again?” she nodded and pressed herself against him. She fought for breath as Arthur tried his best to soothe her. Alexa breathed in a heavy sigh, fighting to calm herself. She clung to Arthur’s words, hoping they were true. That he cared for her, that he truly thought she was still beautiful despite her display, but she couldn’t help it, her mind raced through endless thoughts.

They sped faster and faster until coherent thought utterly escaped her, and she couldn’t grasp anything no matter how hard she tried. Arthur watched her closely, he held her close. He blamed Gotham for this, he blamed the narrows. Everyone was so awful here! It seemed to him more and more that Alexa needed to be safe out there and he would be the one to be sure of it from now on! It was near dawn before Alexa finally calmed down, having exhausted herself at last. She slept, but only because he’d held her through it all, because he understood, and she’d been so frantic and upset he wasn’t about to let her go. He was going to keep her safe, nobody would ever take his Alexa away! Nor would she be hurt again. He would go to great lengths to be sure of it!

Alexa opened her eyes with a groan, exhaustion heavy in her every last inch, the night before was a blur, the past twenty-four hours seemed like a bad dream, an awful nightmare. She squinted her eyes as sunlight hit them. It took her a moment to register where she was. She was in his apartment on his couch. Her panic spiked when she realized what she’d done the night before. She’d finally shared not only the romantic feelings she’d harbored for him. She had also had one of her terrible panic attacks in front of him.

Humiliation fast fed the anxiety she was battling. She’d lost a lot, her job, her friend and father figure Mickey. Of course, Arthur now knew about her having been raped. She stood up and walked to the kitchen looking for him, not knowing what to expect.

“Arthur?” she called. She looked at the clock 6:00 AM. “Please be here” she whispered to herself like a mantra. Footsteps startled her and she turned around quickly to see Arthur in his clown attire. His face fresh with grease paint.

“Arthur I’m so sorry about last night I…”

“Alexa don’t…” he started.

Alexa hugged herself, shivering a bit “I’m so sorry about everything I get it if you don’t want to be around me or have any relationship…” she was cut off as he interrupted her

“You’re fine you accept me why wouldn’t I do the same?” Alexa was shocked, in front of her was this man dressed like a clown saying he accepted her. It was silly really when she thought of it all. Him being a clown and her desire for his touch. She’d lost a lot and it would be reflected upon later. She walked over to Arthur and wrapped her arms around him. He returned the hug, then let go.

“You’re the only one who’s ever really accepted me,” he said as their eyes met. Alexa smiled happily, “same to you.” They were nearly kissing again when Arthur heard an all too familiar voice.

“Happy are you up?” Alexa looked up at Arthur in panic. “Yes mother,” he replied.

“See you later?” Alexa mouthed; Arthur nodded “Where?” he asked softly.

“I’ll meet you after work then we can go to my place” she said quickly as she gathered up her clothes from the night before, ruined as they were from the bloodstains and put them in the paper bag Arthur held out for her. Within seconds she tugged her boots on and her coat and snuck out the door.

Arthur made sure there were no traces of Alexa as he made his mother breakfast, he brought it to her.

“Oh, Happy I didn’t know you had to work today,” his mother said he nodded and said “Yes, I have to go now,” he left the room and lingered by his couch. He swore he could smell a lingering wiff of Alexa’s perfume as he plucked his gun out from under the cushion, he kept it stowed under and tucked it securely in his pants as he grabbed his bag and went out the door…


	9. The Beginnings of Madness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Leave him alone, stop!” she felt helpless, invisible to these men even. They just wouldn’t listen, wouldn’t stop! She felt dizzy from the blood loss, but Arthur! She had to save him! She couldn’t lose the man she loved!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Dolls, here with another chapter I believe I've mentioned this before in other chapters! This is a mix of the movie with an alternate universe concept. I have created Alexa a character that relates with Arthur for a little mad love of my own. So naturally some of it is different then how things happened in the movie. Some of the scenes in this chapter stay true to the movie, but a big part of the movie is well...you'll see when you read it and I hope you all enjoy it!

Alexa pressed the rewind button for the 53rd time on her answering machine. Her heart pounding as she did so, the recorded message was from her mother. She hit the play button,  
“Alexa this your mother, are you still taking your medication? I saw what happened to that place you worked at….” Click, rewind. Alexa sat hunkered down behind her couch, holding the machine in her hands. She set it in her lap and hit the play button again. Her mind glowing foggy as she stood there behind the counter with the gunmen again. The bullet flying almost as if it were in slow motion. It found its mark Mickey fell dead, she was covered in blood, so much blood. It was warm and reminded her of a crimson colored blanket as she lay down on the floor. 

She pulled the machine right up to her face as she hit the button again  
“Oh Alexa you promised to check in and stay on your medication this time…” she hit the stop button and fast forwarded the message near the end where her mother said “I saw the news on the TV call me!” Her fingers curled tightly around the machine she found the erase option on it and put it away from her afterward. She was laying there picking and pulling at one of the sleeves of Arthur’s sweater. 

She felt safe in it she thought half-wishing she could keep it. She sat up and got to her feet, walking into her bathroom, she pulled the sweater up and over her head and tossed it onto her toilet seat. She took off her bra and underwear, getting into the shower she turned on the water, she was going to see Arthur and she had to look perfect when she did. 

Meanwhile at the other side of Gotham City Arthur was jubilant, he loved going to the children’s hospital, seeing the looks on their faces when he did his act! He was dancing with glee to the song “If you’re happy and you know it,” for Arthur in this moment he truly felt happy. He even sang along as well. 

“If you’re happy and you know it wiggle your ears,” his white gloved hands made his ears wiggle as best as could be possible with his Carnival Clown wig on.  
“If you’re happy and you know it stomp your feet stomp your feet!” Arthur stomped his clown shoed foot upon the white tiled floor, unaware of the slipping gun treacherously sliding its way down on his leg and clattering to the floor. Arthur yelped in surprise, immediately trying to grab it from the floor. It kept slipping and sliding on the tile as he reached to grab it. When he did, he hid it beneath his white lab coat he’d been wearing over his clown costume. He pressed his finger to his lips, hoping to play it off as an accident and the gun being a prop, but he had no such luck. 

Alexa smiled when she looked in the mirror, she was wearing a short black dress made of velvet and lace with a black choker necklace with beads and chains crisscrossed to match. She had on her dark make up, including her signature black lipstick and her usual pigtails tied up high on her head, the ends of them brushing her cheeks, Arthur should approve she thought. She had gone to great lengths to lure him tonight. 

“Hoyt please, I love this job,” Arthur practically begged his manager.  
“Arthur, I need you to tell me why you brought a gun to a children’s hospital,” Hoyt snapped across the phone, Arthur flinched at his words.  
“It’s a prop, its part of my act now,” Arthur tried, his throat felt tight and he thought his heart was going to burst out of his chest right in the very phone booth he was standing in. 

“That’s bullshit, bullshit what kind of clown carries a fucking gun?”  
“Plus, Randall told me you tried to buy a .38 off of him last week,” Hoyt snarled, Arthur barely had a chance to speak as Hoyt continued. 

“Randall told you that?” Arthur’s heart fell, he hadn’t done that!  
“You’re a fuck up Arthur, and a liar, you’re fired,” and then the line went dead. Arthur banged his forehead hard against the glass on the side of the phone booth. It broke from the force. What would he tell Alexa? Would she want him around her anymore after she learned of this? He felt the weight of it all fall on his shoulders. With a heavy sigh he left the phonebooth. 

Alexa was already there waiting for him when he got to the subway. She could tell by the way Arthur was walking that he was upset, devastated even. She walked up to him and reached for his hand. She was dismayed when he pulled his hand away.  
“What’s wrong Arthur?” Alexa asked feeling mildly hurt that he’d pulled away from her. He continued walking and Alexa followed. They boarded the train and Arthur merely found a spot and sat down, meanwhile Alexa was worried about him, what had happened? Something about work seemed to fit the most as to why he was acting like this, she deduced. She placed her hands in her lap, clenching them tightly. Arthur remained silent; Alexa watched him closely. Her anxiety spiked as her mind began to spiral out of control as she thought perhaps it had nothing to do with his work, and he had decided he didn’t like her anymore, and that could not happen! 

She loved him more than anything! As Alexa fought back tears, she heard the train doors opening and three well dressed rich looking guys came into the subway. She could tell they were drunk by the way they talked and how they were acting. She looked over at the woman sitting a few feet away from them that they had begun to bother. One of them had some fries, he began shake the bag  
“Hellooooo” he jeered, as he began to throw fries at the woman.

One of them, the tall blond one said, “Don’t ignore him, he’s being nice to you.” 

Alexa watched quietly, feeling as though she should say something. However, as she took the situation in, she realized she recognized these three men. Especially the one throwing the fries in particular. She began to panic, the world around her suddenly becoming a blur as bits and pieces of reality seemed to be falling away, she felt frightened. Vaguely, she heard the beginning sounds of laughter. Arthur was grabbing her hand, his grip felt tight, she squeezed his hand in return, hoping to avoid what was coming. She used her other hand to rub his arm as Arthur fell into a soft snicker and then into a full-blown fit of laughter. The other woman had long since left to go to another train car. Alexa and Arthur were left along with the three men. Including the one she felt particularly scared of. They moved like vultures, intent on their newest prey. 

Alexa and Arthur were in trouble, Arthur tried to stop but he couldn’t. One of them began singing Frank Sinatra’s Send in the clowns.  
“Isn’t it rich, aren’t we a pair, me on the ground and you in mid-air send in the clowns…” The third guy who had, had the fries sat right next to Arthur and took his carnival wig and put it on they started laughing too. Alexa just held onto Arthur’s hand.

“Stop! Leave him be!” she snapped. Arthur had begun to fumble with his bag. As one of them came even closer.  
“Hey, leave fuck off!” Alexa stood up, glaring at them. They ignored her, instead one of them said “So buddy tell us, what’s so fucking funny?”  
“Nothing I have…” and then Alexa felt her head smack into one of the metal poles on the train, blood soaked her platinum mane and fell into her eyes. She felt helpless as they began beating Arthur up, he’d been knocked into her when the three wall street guys had started beating Arthur up. 

“Leave him alone, stop!” she felt helpless, invisible to these men even. They just wouldn’t listen, wouldn’t stop! She felt dizzy from the blood loss, but Arthur! She had to save him! She couldn’t lose the man she loved. As she tried to make it to Arthur’s side, she heard what was the sound of a gun firing, it was Arthur! He’d shot them, two of them fell dead, but one was getting away, Arthur hadn’t killed him. He had only injured him. A feeling of pure anger flowed from her. She saw Arthur getting up and going to get the third guy. The one Alexa had recognized with the fries, the worst of them! 

“Rapist,” she snarled under her breath. She met Arthur’s eyes as she yanked the gun from his hand. She hid for a moment getting the lay of the land. She left the train. She followed him and let him crawl a few feet up the stairs. Until Bang Bang Bang! She emptied the gun upon the last wall street guy. Muttering incoherently under her breath. Her ears rung and blood had soaked her hair, even the ends of her pigtails were covered red. The blood had also begun to drip down her face. She just stood there until a hand grabbed hers and dragged her up the stairs of the subway. Alexa was running now, Arthur was holding her hand leading her across the grimy pavement, wet with mist. 

She gasped “Arthur where are we going?” He didn’t answer her he just kept running. Alexa was out of breath by the time they made it to the dark Public park bathroom. Arthur dropped his bag on the floor and pressed his hands, palms flat against the door. Alexa looked at the mirror over the sinks and then away again when Arthur came over to her and he grabbed her hands and guided her back to the mirror. She moved with him together in that dark bathroom it was just the two of them, dancing in harmony to an invisible tune only they could hear. 

Arthur finished moving to the music in his head. Holding his arms outward, looking at the mirror. Alexa stood in front of him, she smiled widely as she lowered her arms she made sure to collect some blood from her headwound with her fingers and painted a smile on her face.  
“Now we match,” she whispered to Arthur. Arthur looked at her and took her in. Confidence surged within him as he grabbed Alexa’s chin and tipped her face up, kissing her hungrily, Alexa fell into the kiss with a moan. She’d just killed a man, a man who had wronged her and Arthur both, but she didn’t give a damn she’d killed someone. Arthur had killed people too this night. She felt a bond to him as his hands expertly rolled her dress up lifting her to balance on the sink. Alexa moaned again as she kissed him. Arthur lowered her fishnets, her panties too. 

“Oh Arthur…” She whimpered into the kiss “take me!” she felt pure extasy as Arthur brushed his tip over her wet folds. Alexa’s hands fastened themselves in Arthur’s hair. She broke the kiss long enough to say again, “take me Arthur, I’m all yours!” She kissed him again and he returned her kisses confidently, it was almost like he was a different person, filled with confidence. Her hands tightened their grip in his hair and pulled as he entered her, shivering as he pushed his tip and shaft deep into her wet core, he continued to do so as Alexa breathed in and out heavily, breaking their kiss so she could admire him. He was beautiful to her in that moment. Her blood and his had smeared together on both of their faces, as well as her make-up and his clown paint. The mirror reflecting her union with him, with her Arthur.

They had a secret to share now and she would live for it. She placed her hands on his shoulders now, thrusting her hips forward to match his pace. It was like a dance between the two of them and each of them danced to the music of their bodies, their very souls. Arthur could hear the music in his mind, and he was one with it. Breathlessly he quickened his pace, moaning loudly when she moved to match him. 

Her name became a prayer upon his lips as he buried his face into her neck. She began to grab hold of his hips, forcing him to thrust harder, deeper into her. She felt full of him and it was everything she’d longed for and more. Arthur raised his head up to look at his Alexa, her eyes were practically closed in ecstasy. He drew her in for a kiss and she responded, kissing him like it was the last night of her life. 

Alexa felt herself getting ever closer to the edge. It didn’t matter that they were in a dark dingy bathroom, or that they’d just killed three people who couldn’t carry a tune to save their lives. The sound of skin on skin filled the bathroom. Alexa gasped “Arthur I’m so close,”  
“Me too,” Arthur breathed. They soared in that moment and fell down, down breathless as Arthur’s hips stuttered to a halt as his orgasm took him. Alexa threw her head back with a wordless cry, feeling glorious in her release she sagged against him, her eyes closing briefly as she wrapped her arms around him, pressing her forehead against his shoulder with a smile on her face. He had a little smile of his own pull at his lips. 

“I love you,” she whispered.  
“Yeah?” he answered, “I love you too.”


End file.
